Tuesday, 29 May 2012

communication, maritally speaking

I have sent The Worker two emails today.  Both involved offspring-related events and activities.  I presume this is a relatively normal activity?  Do other couples communicate using email?  I suppose they must.  I don't often email him.  I wouldn't email him a list but then again I don't provide written lists either.  I still live in the optimistic hope that if a thing needs doing then both of us can see it and at some point in time one of us will sort it out.

We do have 'departments'.  I don't do bins (internatl or external) or lightbulbs or anything resembling or relating to DIY.  I am not authorised to load the dishwasher as, apparently, I haven't been able to get to a good enough standard of loading since we've lived together which I think is now in the region of the 20 year mark.  Suits me.  I seem to have relinquished all responsibility for recycling and, again, I think this is due to the air of flibbertigibbity-ness I've been cultivating ever since realising that someone, somewhere has to do these things.

Anyway....the email thing got me thinking about the effect of technology on marital communication.  I have friends who seem to receive numerous communications from their spouse during the working day.  I get an ETA call most days (not always) but rarely an unprompted text about, well, anything.  Should I be feeling neglected?  Should I try to ignite some spark of marital texting?  Might our relationship suffer if we are not in constant communicado throughout the day?

Part of my reluctance to instigate such communication is that I loathe The Worker's ringtone.  He has a somewhat middle-aged blackberry and I can't work out how to change the *&^$ing thing.  It's a sort of two town squawk.  I hate to think I might be making it ring more than it has to.  It's just a hideous noise that doesn't deserve to be heard.  Unfortunately, it's heard quite a great deal but then thank goodness for that - economic climate and all that.

So, this is what happens when essays are finished and assessments are done.  There's a little more time on the brain as well as the hands.  I'm sure it can only get more obscure.

As an aside - I've been given an ancient loom which is looking for a home, preferably not our garage for much longer.   It's old and battered and needs some TLC.  Someone needs to take up weaving and it's not going to be me.


marigold jam said...

Interesting post - I am always surprised at how some couples/families seem to require constant contact with each other these days. Me I never made contact with my OH unless it was a real life or death situation and he didn't make contact with me either except when he was abroad for work when I did get an occasional phone call. Maybe it is us that is strange but then again communication these days is so much easier isn't it. I'd say if it suits you both not to keep e-mailing then don't every couple is different and what suits one means the end to another! I too have a loom which I can't see me ever using again!

Only Me said...

I love this post - I have to say I don't email D, mainly as he only reads his emails about once a week and although he has a mobile, it is either never on, or left at home and if I do text,I'n luck if I get a reply!! I have recently given him a list of handwritten 'offspring dates' which he needs to take to work and diarise - it's still sitting on the table in the hallway!

Ali said...

If mine calls or texts in the day, I always think some disaster has befallen.
But I feel the same unease as you when friends seem to be reporting every small thing to their spouses and vice versa. I think it'd drive me nuts.