Thursday, 24 September 2009

high dudgeon....

is a phrase I most recently heard whilst watching a long-ago episode of 'The Good Life', the one where Margo has a windbreak incident and tortures a workman with her wonderfully acerbic phrases. It's an episode of carefully executed misunderstandings and over-reactions. One of my favourite.

I have been in 'high dudgeon' for a while about all sorts of things. I was beginning to wonder whether I had some kind of random anxiety disorder. It has become a bit of a habit. Even when there isn't a problem or an issue or a niggle, given the right conditions, I have been able to create a mountain where not even a molehill has been and I have tested the patience and understanding of some of the people closest to me. Yes, you know who you are and thank you!

I have my theories why this is happening. I think, most probably, that a difficult anniversary is approaching and instead of grieving and acknowledging actual facts and reality, I'm doing a very good job of creating all sorts of semi-traumatic worries and anxieties thereby distracting myself from what I really need to do which is grieve and move on somehow. I hope over the next few weeks to be able to do this. I don't think it's going to be particularly easy but it's going to have to happen.

Today, unexpectedly, has been a day of resolution. Someone astrological could probably explain this and, in fact, my stars on Sunday said that I'm going to have a fantastic month but to be wary of 'odd dreams'. Perhaps my random anxieties can be called 'odd dreams'. If I could sleep through the night I am sure I would have some.

To end on a more positive note....I am just off to play 'mastermind' with E who has now recovered from her sickliness and waiting patiently for me to come up with some suitable questions about fish.


Only Me said...

High dudgeon - what a great expression. I think it is very easy to 'spiral' from molehill to mountain especially if you aren't sleeping as soundly as you might be.
It is difficult to know how and when to grieve - sometimes it comes unexpectedly.
Questions on fish eh ... Hope E is now a mastermind expert on the matter of fish.

Georgina said...

I too like the expression, but I find myself in low dudgeon - if that is not as ill constructed a phrase as 'legs akimbo'.
These anniversairies are hard aren't they - no matter how I tell myself to let the days unfold, the marked days loom.

Jennifer Brindley said...

Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and commenting. :) I look forward to reading yours as well! Good luck with your continued journey,

<3 Jenn (Ex Hot Girl)