I am not the most financially astute person. I like money in the same way I like my car - as a means to an end. I couldn't care less what car I drive as long as I can get to my destination. I couldn't care less how much money in the bank there is as long as there is enough to fulfil my immediate needs.
I am struggling to understand the credit crunch. I have, however, adopted certain money saving strategies.
1. I don't leave the village. Every time I leave the village and enter a town, city or shopping centre, I cannot spend less than £50. Therefore I have adopted the policy of staying within 100 yards of our local corner shop. This is proving to be much more economical. There are only so many individually packed pan scourers a woman can buy.
2. I have started to buy non-branded cereal. I am excusing this behaviour by telling myself and my family that I am conducting a taste test experiment, not, in fact saving 50% each time I buy a box of random pieces of oaty-wheat-bran-muesli.
3. I am virtual shopping. By creating long lists of items in baskets on internet shopping sites and then deleting them, similar endorphins to those released in the brain during real-time shopping expeditions are released.
4. I am playing central heating challenge with my husband. Before the credit crunch (BCC) we would argue about when the heating would be switched on for the winter with yours truly being the one to complain that 2nd September was too late to turn it on. Now we have a woodburner, I am determined not to switch it on before my birthday and preferably not before halloween!
5. I am using my gym membership. This results in value for money and reduced domestic utility bills as well as giving the impression of a smaller backside.