Friday, 2 May 2008

cousin 'it'

This is cousin 'it' in his/her final throes. S/he was supposed to represent an individual's response to showing and revealing their true identity (she was stuffed with some netting for a while). You will be relieved to know that I have moved on from this frankly woolly visual epresentation of my thoughts. I include the photo to remind me never to embark on such an obscure path of artistic experimentation again.
I have decided at long last to accept my place at college BA Fine Art (Drawing practice) but to defer it until September 2009. This allows me to delude myself that I will earn enough from writing and being generally crafty to pay my fees in advance rather than having to go through the rigmarole of begging Wiltshire County Council to give me a loan. Part of my decision is fuelled by fear that I won't be able to last 3 years in an academic institution and part of it is that what I've always really wanted to do is write and there's another part of me that's simply filling my time with something that although valuable and interesting and enjoyable is not, actually, writing.
So, that's it. With my blogging experience and my unflagging self disbelief I am going to spend June 2008 - September 2009 writing and trying to get published somewhere. If in that time I am totally unsuccessful (criteria to be determined at a later date), I will finally give up my pretension of such a career and devote myself to tending my herbaceous borders. Probably.
I'm going back to my barmaid routes tonight, helping out at a fundraiser. I need a job as I shall be toute seule. G needs to take J to football and E has opted for a sleepover. If I don't have a job to do I shall lurk, feeling uncomfortable so I'm very grateful for the opportunity to contribute.
Bank Holiday weekend is looming and the garden beckons. I've done a little bit more weeding this week but, I suspect, nowhere near enough. My three day nausea fest continues unabated and everytime I move I feel hot and slightly dizzy. Another reason to go on the bar and not jiggle around dancing all night.
One side of my garden is full of nettles and the other is full of ground elder. I am awaiting the bindweed. What joy!

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