Tuesday, 3 July 2007

The trampoline, the tape measure and the scales…..

The less said about my baseline evaluation the better. I bounced, I gasped and I wrote down numbers that were bigger than I was anticipating.

I appear to be a BOGOF woman.

If you could go to Tesco’s and buy one size 0 celebrity and get another free, you’d get me! BOGOF.

Does that mean I’m a 00? Not that I’d want to be. I just want to look well. How’s that for a mid-life statement – “well”, not fabulous, not gorgeous, oh no, couldn’t possibly aspire to beauty – no, I’ve got to the age when I want to look well! I want my hair to shine, my skin to glow, my teeth to sparkle and my clothes to fit properly. That’s all.

I haven’t the nerve to be truly honest and expose my physical statistics to anyone, least of all people (worse still women) I don’t know very well. It makes me go clammy to think of it.

So – every week, I will provide a short summary of any pounds lost, inches dislodged and fitness goals reached. Promise. When projectforty is over and if you’re that bothered, you can have a go at working out yourself. There WILL be pictures. But for now, think of me as Mrs Ordinary who wants to be Mrs Slightly Extraordinarily Fabulous.

My caffeine consumption has risen. I had one cup of tea today to stop my head pounding. My withdrawal symptoms have been awful – cotton wool ears, head pounding, nausea. Not fun but after a cup of tea and a couple of chocolate biscuits all is well again.

Have been working at home today. I have fifteen working days left until the end of July and I have long lists of activities, outings and scams for my retirement. I can’t wait. Once I get to know you better I’ll let you know what they are. Projectforty is my main priority though. As Oprah says, you need to love yourself before you can do anything for anyone else. And she knows. She says she knows. And Dr Phil says she knows. So she must.

I’ve watched the rain clouds shift across the sky all day and seen the raindrops sheet from the sky. It’s July. Totally dismal.

So - my next resolution. Caffeine's a goner. Next on the list are........cuticles! Yes, in addition to my other failings.... I never examine my cuticles and my nails resemble those of a depressed librarian, dry, dusty and not quite the thing. Tonight, I will manicure. I will find my 'Beauty Bible' and read up how to do it. If I spill polish on my new sofa. I will screeeeaeaeaeaem!

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